This is hysterical. Specifically, these bits:
Does anything else so epitomise the indolent sloth, the splattered-shirted, fat-arsed torpor of modern living? The manufacturer claims this abomination is designed for people who ‘don’t have the time or knack to prepare a boiled egg’.
Who are these hard-pressed halfwits? There’s no ‘knack’ to boiling an egg: you only need a watch. And it takes less time (and is usually easier) than having a shower, getting dressed or copulation, and you wouldn’t believe someone who told you they didn’t have the ‘time or knack’ to do those.
If we’re to do anything about obesity in this country, and save our streets from seas of wobbling, nyloned buttocks, we must coax people into the kitchen.
I tend to agree. If you are so stupid and/or lazy so as not to know how to boil an egg and/or be arsed to boil an egg, you do not deserve to go and buy a boiled egg in a shop. You deserve to either not be allowed to procreate or a whack upside the head with a shout of ‘get off your lazy arse!’